Teodora Ana Mihai and Sode Yukiko have revealed that fears about losing work once they became mothers led both directors to conceal major developments in their family lives from film-industry colleagues.
The filmmakers discussed the pressures of raising children while sustaining directing careers during a Tokyo Talks session at this year’s Tokyo International Film Festival. Mihai’s “Heysel 85” is playing in competition, while Sode’s “All the Lovers in the Night,” which debuted at Cannes, is screening in the festival’s Gala Selection.
Moderated by festival programming team member Kondo Kanako, the TIFF Lounge event put its theme into practice by providing childcare. Babysitters looked after infants at the back of the venue, with the children occasionally making themselves heard during the conversation.
Why both directors stayed silent
Sode first spoke publicly about hiding the birth of her second child during a 2021 festival discussion with Indonesian director Kamila Andini. She had withheld the news even from trusted producers because she believed offers would disappear if people knew she had a newborn.
Her daughter is due to start elementary school in April. “All the Lovers in the Night” marks Sode’s first theatrical feature in five years, following “Aristocrats.”
Sode said she has since noticed some movement within the Japanese film business. “The situation in Japan’s film world has changed a little,” she said, noting that she increasingly hears about younger female directors and crew members having children. In her view, choosing to give birth has become more possible than it was five years ago.
Mihai, who was 37 when her daughter was born, had decided she would not choose between motherhood and filmmaking, which she considers her passion. However, fear created by social expectations delayed her decision to start a family. After becoming pregnant, she informed only a small number of industry colleagues and was still concealing the pregnancy beneath winter clothing at six months.
“I was really conflicted with myself, because I was already feeling like a bad mother, because I was hiding something so beautiful and actually so natural,” Mihai said. She described part of that pressure as self-censorship rooted in the way she had grown up thinking.
Having a daughter also strengthened Mihai’s determination to demonstrate that motherhood and directing could coexist. She wanted to help create a different environment for female colleagues and later generations. Sode contrasted their experiences with those of men, who can announce a partner’s pregnancy and receive congratulations alongside encouragement to work harder.
The practical cost of combining work and family
Mihai said she felt compelled to prove herself “three times more” than many male colleagues, leaving little room in her life beyond work and parenting. Her own mother initially traveled to shoots and cared for the children, support that ended when she died in a tragic car accident.
Mihai’s daughter, now almost 9, visits sets on carefully selected days and has made herself an unofficial assistant by getting to know cast and crew members. Mihai also said she encourages her children to challenge her and think differently.
Sode’s children, by contrast, have never visited her sets. She lives in Kanazawa with her husband, who frequently travels to Tokyo for work. When filming, Sode relocates alone to the capital for roughly six months at a time and remains away from her children.
She compared the family’s arrangements to a married couple tackling the course on “Sasuke,” Japan’s obstacle-course television competition. When Sode could not secure daycare for her first child, her career stopped completely, contributing to the family’s decision to leave Tokyo.
“When I could put my child in daycare and throw myself into film work, it truly felt like I’d been let out of prison,” Sode said, adding that meeting people through her work makes her feel alive. Mihai rejected the suggestion that wanting a life beyond parenting was selfish, saying she is more than only a daughter, mother or filmmaker.
Sode described Japanese film sets as grueling, with long hours, limited budgets and pressure to shoot quickly. Although she did not believe anyone would openly object to a director bringing a child, she said the atmosphere would not necessarily be welcoming because safety staff and schedule adjustments would be required. She cited the units of Nishikawa Miwa and Kore-eda Hirokazu as examples of productions that have held “family days” for crew members’ partners and children.
Mihai said European productions face similar strains. She filmed the crowd-heavy “Heysel 85” in 25 days, settling her creative approach early and using long takes. Shooting on 16mm to achieve her desired visual style also cost her some filming days.
Her debut feature, “La Civil,” took seven years to complete. Mihai repeatedly postponed motherhood while waiting to finish it, but further pandemic delays meant she ultimately became a mother during the project. The film later earned her the Tokyo festival’s special jury prize in 2021. She returned in 2024 with “Traffic,” which produced the festival’s best actress winner.
ShowBiz Take
This conversation mattered because it moved beyond general calls for inclusion and exposed the everyday calculations behind a filmmaking career: whether to disclose a pregnancy, whether daycare is available, whether a child can visit a set and whether a festival invitation is practical for a parent.
Mihai praised the Tokyo festival for working with a nanny service during promotional duties. Kondo said guests often arrive at festivals alone with little ability to negotiate bringing another person. She makes child-friendly planning—and childcare where possible—a requirement for work under her control.
Sode warned that a lack of childcare can be enough for guests with young children to reject festival invitations, while Kondo said she knew of actual cases in which guests had stayed away for that reason. Their discussion made clear that access is not just about who gets invited; it also depends on whether working conditions allow parents to participate.
The session also widened into film economics. Mihai said European arthouse cinemas are struggling and many are closing, while filmmakers fear public money may be diverted elsewhere. “Without state funding, we would not be making these films. It’s that simple,” she said.
Sode argued that allowing market logic to eliminate films shown in smaller theaters would eventually diminish the quality of larger productions too, because directors do not begin their careers making big films. Kondo closed by urging audiences to speak up when ticket prices feel too high, saying change depends on complaints being heard and that festivals have a role in starting that process.